The wedding toast. The final words of all the speeches and an opportunity to impart a few words of wisdom right? Not for these best men who gambled on an alternative option and lost in spectacular fashion. Here are real wedding toasts that crashed and burnt.

  1. Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding – for my cock. Which incidentally is also upstanding.
  2. One word of advice: wait until you have kids before you cheat.
  3. To a thrilling lifetime together spent watching thousands upon thousands of hours of television.
  4. May this marriage turn out better than your first one.
  5. May all your ups and downs be between the sheets.
  6. I know I promised that I would make a toast, but I didn’t have time to write anything.
  7. To the proud parents to be
  8. I’ve been friends with Gavin all my life but I can honestly say this is the first free meal he’s ever offered me; the cheapskate.
  9. I’ll be there for you at the next wedding when this one doesn’t work out
  10. To the bride and groom–60% of marriages end in divorce and in the rest, you live happily until death. Here’s hoping you die.
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